October!

October used to be my favorite month.  It gets a little cooler, the leaves change, there is pumpkin flavored everything, HALLOWEEN! You know all those great amazing fun things. But as I have gotten older I have let October become a burden rather than a beauty and I want to reclaim it.

It is my husband's busiest time at work so that means more time alone with the kid for me and simply crossing paths with him. The weather in GA just gets weird and we are in a heat at night / air during the day mess right now. All the things that are amazing and fun as a kid take work as an adult. Someone (me) has to make or buy these pumpkin creations. Someone (me) has to plan and drag everybody to all the fun events.

The first weekend of October is already gone! And what did I do with it? I spent 75% of my waking hours running a booth at the Atlanta Maker Faire. Which was fun! And the other 25% I lucked out. My kiddo was off with a friend so I got to hang with the hubby and go out to breakfast! I love going out to breakfast. So much less pressure than dinner. Breakfast is always fun and easy. I think it is my love of a fresh start. Breakfast represents the beginning of the day. Which is when I make way too many plans. I have so many expectations for the day at the beginning of each one.

So here is how I am going to re-claim October. First I am going to adjust my attitude. I took on making Halloween costumes because I LOVE MAKING HALLOWEEN COSTUMES! The problem with making anything for clients is that self doubt creeps in. What if they don't like it? What if I mess up? What if ....... instead of asking myself off this crap. I am going to tell myself. I LOVE MAKING HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

So attitude is what I can have control over for the rest of October. And that is what I am going to work on today!

I am not alone.

My last post must have really hit a nerve. I got lots of responses from people. They were in two categories.
1. You are inspiring, keep at it.
2. Do you need more support? Are you ok?

I am happy to see both but I was a bit surprised that not only did so many people ask me if I needed help, but offered to give it to me. A couple people actually picked up a real phone, dialed my phone number and talked to me. Which is like crossing the ocean these days.

It got me thinking. YES I do need more support. I am the pillar of my household. I am the one that makes sure that everyone else has what they need. And the thing is that it is my JOB as a housewife / mother to continue to do that. I am not able to set that aside at all. Maybe a day here and there but it is the bulk of my role in life right now.

I started writing a big list of all the stuff I do. But it was boring even me. It is a lot of crap, grunt work. But it is all stuff that needs to be done. I hate most of it. But I need to focus on the big picture part that I love. I get to be here for my family and support them in the things they do. But in all that I have lost myself. I have lost some of who I am and what I want to be.

I have some mom friends who are fully fulfilled by this role. Awesome, I really do wish it was enough for me. And I have other  mom friends who work and that seems to make them happy. Fantastic, but again not the right answer for me.

What I really need to zone in on is what is right for me? What does make me happy? What can I do within the confines created by my husband's work and my daughter's school?

Well lucky me I have gotten a magical reprieve. The kiddo is off at the lake with a friend until tomorrow. So I can sit and ponder "what about me". Which seems selfish and silly. But also necessary. Maybe I "shouldn't" want more, but I do. I just don't know exactly what that more can look like right now?

Ironically, I spent the morning cleaning the house. All the way down to vacuuming out the couch crevices. But sometimes it is easier to do what is obvious. It is easier to clean my house than to clean my life.

As I head off to switch out yet another load of laundry I am going to work on figuring out how I can be happy with the things I have and what more do I really need?

Sugar DeTox!

Short Version
1. Poor planning leads to poor results.
2. Exercise improves my mood dramatically.
3. My name is Chrissy and I am addicted to sugar & carbs

I often have this debate with my mother who is diabetic, she says she can't have a piece of fruit. And I say yes you can, not all sugar is created equal. What is the real answer? I'm not a Dr. I can't really say officially but I have been doing tons of reading and research into what the heck I should be eating. All these nutritionalists and Drs say that processed food is evil. That we should be eating whole, real food. And through trial and error I have to say that I now am a firm believer that they are right.

I have been slipping on my planning and preparing. I have slipped into eating a baked potato with some smart balance on it as my default meal. This is technically vegan but I can tell you my conclusion. I have stopped loosing weight, and I have NO energy. Today I am going to get back on the planning and prepping band wagon. Also Smart Balance has palm oil in it! Urgh! I am not going to buy it again once what I have is gone. The way they harvest palm oil is so terrible for the environment.

Another conclusion that I have read over and over in this research I am doing is "you cannot exercise your way out of a bad diet".  I keep trying to do just that. I even did an hour of Jazzercise and two hours or roller derby on Tuesday. It made my bones hurt I was so tired. And because I over did it on Tuesday I did not work out at all on Wednesday. When I do not get any exercise I am grumpy. So I woke up this morning already grumpy.

So I have a new mantra:
I exercise for my mood.
I eat for health and energy.

This week I am doing a sugar detox. I am cutting out all items that have sugar in them. And it is hard. It has made me grumpy. Yesterday I was starving and caved and ate both sugar and cheese. Why? - see poor planning statement above.

I have also slipped into eating more bread. I really think that eating carbs is a slippery slope for me. And when I over do it on carbs I get foggy headed and can't think straight. Why do I keep slipping? I think it is because old habits die hard. Also we live in a society where it is tough to eat the way we should. Not impossible but it takes more planning and preparing.

I also have let life creep in. I have skipped working out because I was too tired or because I needed to do something for someone else. I have to make myself a priority. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I skipped working out yesterday and got no more done than I would have if I had gone to Jazzercise or something.

When I work out I have more energy and feel happier therefore I am more productive. When I feel like skipping a workout or eating something quick and crappy I need to remember that neither of these things ever serve me well. I never regret a good workout and I never regret a hearty & healthy meal. I always regret skipping a workout and I always regret eating something crappy.

Through all this, I still have not given up on myself. I have hit some bumps in the road. But they are just bumps the road is not closed. I do not need to take the detour. I need to suck it up and go over the bumps.

By the way, today is my 10th wedding anniversary. This represents the longest and strongest commitment of my entire life. And I have to say I am sure I picked the right person because the last 10 years (11.5 if you count when we were dating) with him have been the best ones of my life. And when all is said and done they have been pretty easy years too. I have never once considered quitting him or our life and if you know me at all that is a huge statement.

So I am off to make some plans and get things done. What are you going to do today?

- C 

Not Giving Up is REALLY hard.

Short Version
Even though I have slacked on writing I have not given up.
Moving up to PG might kill me.
I am addicted to sugar and having a fresh start.

Left: Me, Right: Awesome skater Brandy! 

Not giving up is hard. I am usually a quitter. My mom is well aware that she is a quitter and I was allowed to quit anything I did not like as a kid. So all this not quitting is really hard. I told my pal B that I am proud of myself for going from a really crappy skater to a just plain crappy skater. And if I had given up that would not be the case. I would not be any sort of skater. I would just talk all big about it and not do it. But that is totally not cool, so will not be quitting until I am done! 

On Sunday I did my first practice with the PG team. OMG I was terrified. Those girls are serious. No more just skating around getting you to it stuff. I have moved on to the blocking and jamming and learning the actual rules for real. G is too easy now. Maybe one day I will be able to say that about PG but I have to keep not quitting to get there. 

I have learned a lot about myself these past few weeks. I am totally addicted to sugar. I apparently can cut out any other food like a bad boyfriend and never think of it again unless it contains sugar. Then I am hooked and I just can't walk away. So I have managed to turn away cupcakes and other non-vegan goodies which in many respects is a HUGE step. But there is a lot of sugary vegan crap in the world. So my next phase is to tackle the sugar demon. 

Along with my propensity for quitting, I love a fresh start. As a kid I went to 6 different schools from K - 8th grade. I have no idea how I reacted in the early years but the last couple of moves were a relief. I got to walk away from all the embarrassing crap I did. All the terrible things I said and all he people I had pissed off. Then High school was a fresh start, then college, then moving to Atlanta, then I went through a string of jobs, boyfriends, and living situations. All of these had an element of a fresh start. Now I have been married to the same man and lived in the same house for 10 years. I have had several jobs and done all sorts of crazy hobbies and such ( like roller derby). But this is the longest I have stuck to anything in my 37 years. The husband is easy no desire for a new one there. But I do get itchy feet to move to a new house, a new town, a new life all the time. Not that what I have is not good enough I am just addicted to the new. The excitement, the fresh start is all so alluring for me.  

So tomorrow is a new day and for now that is going to have to be enough of a fresh start.

Day 21 - Just don't give up!

Short Version
Finally moving up from the G team to the PG team!
All because I did not give up!

That headband is completely sweated through. I wear one every practice because if I don't sweat runs in my eyes and I cannot see. But it is so gross.

My favorite treat these days is coconut water after a tough practice. I leave one frozen in my car and it is so hot that it is the perfect thawed slushy-ness when we are done. And I did so awesome today at endurance practice that it was pretty much a group decision that this is my last session as a G skater and I am movin on up to PG.

Tonight when the fastest girls were finishing their 20 laps I was on 16. It used to be that they were finishing and I was on lap 6. They were 14 laps faster than me. Now it is only 4!! That is a crazy amazing increase. I almost can't believe I did it.

The only down side to getting promoted is I have to figure out how to add one more practice a week to my schedule. Maybe the kid will have to come with me sometimes. Maybe it will be worth babysitter money sometimes. But I some way some how have to make it happen. Because I have not come this far to give up now!

So a shout out to my other two G teamers who did not quit!!! You rocked!! You are getting faster!! Just don't quit.

Peace Out - C

Day 19 - Life!

Short Version
1. So life gets in the way of your plans.
2. You have to kick it in the rear and keep going.
3. We had a great weekend.

Girl Scout Camp selfie. 

M & I went to Girl Scout leader daughter weekend and we had a blast.  First I have to admit that we stayed in a cabin with AC because Mama is not sleeping in a tent in GA in August. Only way that will happen is if Zombies have eaten y'all and I am the only one left. Then I will sleep in a tent in August if needed.

I say life gets in the way because I also have to admit (thank you for the reminder "Gal Pal") that I ate a doughnut on Saturday. Our stove is out and I just could not think and we got doughnuts for breakfast. Oh well.... Revolution Doughnuts makes Gluten Free and Vegan doughnuts. But let's face it they are still doughnuts, so that will be a very occasional treat.

Also I was eating camp food. I am pretty sure it was not vegan. I am pretty sure there was butter in the mashed potatoes and green beans. I had more store bought veggie burgers than I would have liked. But just because I am working on being healthy does not mean every situation will be perfect or easy. But I can say I passed on the peach cobbler and the S'mores so there is something to be said for small victories.

I did not want to go to Roller Derby today, but I did. And I am SO GLAD I did. I totally rocked it! Tara and I were the "couple of you have got this" so here, do something harder. And we did! It was nice to have a practice buddy. We were also partners trying whips and pushes. She was a great partner! Quad said she was going to "go easy" on us, I really want to see what she sees as a full on practice.

Hope you had a great weekend and are getting ready for the week ahead. I am in a bit of a "when it rains it pours" situation and will be pretty busy. But honestly busy makes me happy and keeps my hands out of the cookie jar.

Make good choices!!! The only one stopping you is you!

Day 16

Short Version
1. It is So HOT!  
2. I feel like I am melting.
3. Did I mention it is hot?!?

So these are capris that I have not worn all summer. I have not worn them because they were too tight. I wore them today and they were pretty comfortable. I am really looking forward to wearing shorts next summer! I cannot imagine having to make it through another summer without shorts. 

Day 15

Short Version
1. The food part of this is getting easier. But I need to cut back on sugar! That is my goal for this next week.
2. Yesterday I skipped writing, I just didn't have anything to say.
3. Not adding anything more just need to stay the course.

I think I have the eating more good stuff down. And I am eating less over all. But I still have a bit of a sweet tooth that I am working to concur. I am trying to be a little easy on myself because this is a lot of stuff to cut out all at once. So I will ease out the sugar. Until I can just quit it all together.

Yesterday I skipped writing but I went to Roller Derby practice. I just didn't have anything to say. I like writing about all this. I think it helps me stay focused, but some days are just regular old days.

Practice last night was hard. I only stopped one time when it was not an official break so that's not too bad. But eery inch of my body hurt at the beginning of practice. Other people on my team felt the same way so maybe it was something we did on Sunday. Maybe it was just something in the air. Whatever it was I was wobbly and felt weak. But I pushed through.

When we did our final 20 laps, I was slow. Not as slow as I used to be, but slow. When the first person finished 20 I was on 12. So I did my 8 more laps. I was the last one to finish. But at least I finished and I counted out all my laps. Next week I want to be on lap 13 when they are on 20. And then one day I will be as fast as some of them.

I am still feeling low on motivation in other areas of my life. But I am going to have to let that be ok. I have spent lots of time being motivated about sewing and stuff and not enough time motivated about my health and sanity. So I am going to try and just stay on track and stop beating myself up about all the other things I could be doing. I am doing what I need to do for now. Things will get better and easier and my motivation will come back. Somehow it will. And until then I will just coast on focused on being a better me. 

Be the best you that you can be!

Day 13 - Not very exciting

The Short Version
1. Finally an easy drop off this morning at school.
2. Got to snuggle with my kiddo.
3. I think I have broken my night snacking habit.

So the kid is finally seeming to adjust to school drop off. I hope I am not jinxing it and I hope it goes as smoothly tomorrow as it did today.

I injured my toe yesterday more than I had realized. So I decided to rest it and loose one day to resting rather than work out today and hurt it more and loose a whole week or something. It is feeling much much better and I am sure I will be able to skate on it tomorrow.

Since I was resting my toe, kiddo and I watched a movie after school today. She and I snuggled and hung out. Most days after school she ditches me to go play with friends. So it was actually pretty nice to have her all to myself.

I think one way I gained all this weight that I need to loose is that I used to nibble at night, quiet a bit. I would watch TV and eat something and then something else and well you see the pattern. I think this was my worst habit. Over the past two weeks I have managed not to do this. It is a little weird but eating better has made me less hungry physically and mentally.

However I am having a new problem. With all my motivation dumped into eating well and exercising I am not feeling very creative. I am hoping it is just temporary but I have not felt like working on anything at all. Fortunately I have some client projects coming up. I am hoping they will spur me on to get back to some creative pursuits.

I feel like I am in a weird holding pattern waiting for something to happen. I have some volunteer projects coming up and soon it will be that time of year where everything feels like it is on fast forward. I am planning to have my new ways ingrained by then so that I will not have to think about them so hard.

Hope you had an ok Monday.  

Day 12

Short Version
1. It was crazy hot in that warehouse today, but I made it through another practice.
2. I made this amazing Thai rice for dinner. It was delicious.
3. I am getting stronger every day.

Sweaty & Awesome!

It was 90 degrees today and I spent two hours skating in full gear in an un-air conditioned warehouse. I was completely soaked through all my clothes yet again. But I have a new trick that made me feel better after practice. I froze a coconut water and left it in the car to thaw. It was the perfect slushy-ness to drink and cool off and re-hydrate after practice. I highly recommend it for fluid replacement. It does have 70 calories so I will save it for days like this when I really need to replace fluids, but it was good. I also drank two big bottles of water.

For dinner I made a recipe I found here on the "inter-webs", good old Pinterest to be exact. Here is the link: http://blog.hostthetoast.com/thai-cashew-coconut-rice-ginger-peanut-sauce/


I did not use green pepper because hubby is allergic. For the peanut sauce I sadly did not have any fresh ginger, I think it would have been great. But I did add more vinegar and added some soy sauce and more lime juice because I thought the sauce was too think. Hubby also does not like peanut sauce so I left it off of his. I just used a bag of broccoli slaw instead of shredding my own carrots and cabbage. But it was crunchy and tasty. There is plenty left over for me to eat for lunch a couple of days.

Back when I first started Rec League I could barely walk after each practice. Now I barely have any trouble recovering. Which I think means I need to make myself work a little harder. Today I was trying stuff I have been too weak or too scared to do before and I fell about 8 times. One fall a fellow Recker said "that was a great wipe out"! But on another fall I tweaked my left toes and right ankle so I am going to rest them a little tonight. Derby is the kind of sport that you don't give up unless you are like "for REAL" hurt.

My goal for tomorrow is to walk to Jazzercise, well as long as it is not raining I will walk. About two miles each way, with a one hour class. And I found a babysitter for Tuesday so I have to go to endurance practice Tuesday night.

Do something hard tomorrow!!!

Day 11

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)

1. I survived back to back Jazzercise classes today. 
2. M & I got to spend a couple of hours with two of our favorite friends. 
3. I realized today that I like sticking close to home more than I used to and more than I ever would have imagined. 

Sitting in my "comfy" chair. 

I woke up this morning at about 4:14, and have not been back to sleep since. I used my being awake as motivation to go ahead an hit the 7:15 Strength class at Jazzercise. And then I stayed for the 8:20 class, nothing like dancing to some Snoop Dog, J-Lo, Pit Bull and Miley Cyrus on a Saturday morning. However when the hardest song ever came on again during the 2nd class I did groan. I did not give up, I did not miss a beat. I counted out the 32 squats with an arm fly, I did all the curls and such, and then I counted out the remaining 16 squat/fly's and was very happy for that song to end, again. I was proud of myself for accomplishing this two Saturdays in a row, but I was also happy to head home. 

I hit the shower then kiddo and I met some friends at the park. We walked along this path that is super close to our house but I never even knew existed. Well I had heard of it but never been there. When we have extra time my hubby likes to hop in the car and drive an hour or two away to hike and explore. But honestly I would rather be in the car for ten minutes before doing my exploring. Which is why I really liked what we did today. There are so many things close by that we over look them. 

We spent the afternoon hanging out at home. A neighbor kid came over. I made from scratch muffins and pizza dough. E & M went to the pool with the neighbors. It is sort of amazing how far you can stretch a day when you are enjoying all the things in it. 

I admit pizza with just tomato sauce, zucchini and caramelized onions is not everyone's idea of a great dinner. But I enjoyed it. I think the from scratch dough makes it good enough to not need cheese and pepperoni. However it did smell good on the other pizza I made. 

Today E had just one Pepsi at lunch rather than two. So I guess my healthy eating is rubbing off a little. Tomorrow my only exercise plan is a two hour roller derby practice. I guess that will be enough. But I really hope to get more sleep tonight. 

Do something hard, just to prove you can! 

Day 10

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)

1. I enjoyed another yoga class today.
2. I am starting to feel different. I have changed my ways enough that my bra straps are no longer leaving marks around my sides.  
3. Tomorrow I am planning to do back to back Jazzercise classes. 

One of the reasons I have all this time to exercise and plan food is because I have backed way off of work. I am still working some here and there but I have said no to many potential jobs. In some ways this is hard to do, because not working means not getting paid. In other ways this is much much more rewarding. I have changed my ways enough that my bra straps are no longer leaving marks around my sides. Other of my clothes are starting to feel comfortable rather than strained and about to pop. I tried on some of my "too small" clothes just to gauge how things are going and I was able to get them on, and button and zip them. But they are are not yet wearable. But they will be soon and then they will be too big! And this time they will stay too big. 

There are some foods I sort of miss. I thought about writing a list of them. But the bottom line is I do not miss them enough to go back. I do not miss them enough to trade in this new found energy. And I do not miss them enough to risk looking and feeling older than I am. 

At yoga today there were a few things I could not do. I could not do them because there was too much meat in the way and I was just too heavy to hold myself up. But I can feel myself getting stronger. I am on the cusp of being able to make progress on these moves. I can start to imagine all the things that will be easier once I get all this extra fluff off and even more muscle on. I will be lighter, faster and stronger. I will be able to do crazy hand stands and other holding myself up by my arms poses. I just will! And I will be a fast skater. I will not be the last one to finish. And I will get promoted from the G team to the PG team. It is all going to happen. I just need to keep working hard and not letting any of these things out of my sight. 

Right now with all this time, it is easy. Right now I don't have tons of work and stress. But if I make all this stuff a habit now, while everything else is easy, it will just be a part of every day. 

See you at Jazzercise tomorrow? I'm doing the 7:15 class AND the 8:20. 

Day 9 - I totally killed it today!

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)

1. The weather was again amazing, all this sunshine makes me happy. 
2. Got tons of stuff done today! And there is still more day to go! 
3. Got to go to the pool after school with my daughter and our buddies.  

The kid takes the most flattering pictures of me. 

I can't believe how much I got done today before school got out, so here is the list:

• planned our meals for the next week, sent a bunch of emails and worked on Girl Scout stuff
• went to a Jazzercise class
• got my hair done
• went shopping at 3 different stores and got the groceries for this week's meals (I know it's weird that I start my grocery week on Thursday but I like to make big stuff on the weekend and would rather it be fresh)
• packed all our pool stuff and snacks 

All of this by 2:15, which is when another mom and I walk up to the school to get our girls. 

So it is August and school is in. The upside is I have time during the day now. The down side is that it is crazy hot! And most of the after school activities don't start for a couple of weeks so there is some afternoon time to fill. One of our friends has a pool at her condo so we hit the pool this afternoon. It was super fun. It is pretty decadent to spend the afternoon swimming. And yes I am bravely posting a picture of myself in a swim suit. I am not sure if it is her height or the angle she holds the camera but I never hate the pictures my sweet girl takes of me. One goal for next summer is to be in good enough shape to confidently wear a swimsuit that does not have a skirt! And I keep reminding myself that everything I do today will impact what type of swimwear I will want to wear next summer. Another goal I have is to feel good wearing shorts! I can tell you from experience an Atlanta summer is a miserable thing. Especially if you do not wear shorts. I wear dresses and capris, but next summer I am going to wear shorts!

I still have dinner to cook, and someone is coming by to bring me some work. So I have miles left to go. But for the first time in a long time I feel up to it. I feel like I want to keep going. For far to long I have been feeling like all I want to do is lie down or watch TV. Now I'm not saying I will never watch TV again, but I will get a lot more done before I do. 

Tomorrow is Friday! Hope you get to do something fun, I know I will. 

Day 8 - Week 1 Weigh in

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)

1. The weather was amazing today! I had lunch outside with a friend. 
2. I lost some weight and feel good about my ability to do this!
3. I Made it through another Tough Love Yoga class. 

Don't you wear a sundress and a big hat to pick up your kid from school? 

Today was SO much better than yesterday. The sun was shining, the kid was at school and I had some fun. I also discovered that my week one weigh in has me down 4.2 pounds! Which is very very encouraging.

I made it through another 75 minute yoga class this morning. Then I went to Souper Jenny with a gal pal. That place is straight up delicious and has lots of vegan choices. I had a cold vegetable soup and fruit salad, yum! And we sat at a table outside in the shade it was truly lovely.

I am still working on the organizing and planning of meals. One difficult thing is that the peeps in my hose are serious carnivores and lovers of junk food. But I will sneak in some good stuff on them. From a friend's suggestion I am trying plantoeat.com. I spent about an hour today finding recipes and plugging them into the program, seems pretty cool so far.

Yoga was great today. Was crazy hard, but great. My mood is so much lighter when I get in some morning exercise. I am planning to hit the 8:20 Jazzercise class tomorrow.

Hope you have a productive Thursday planned, I know I do!

Day 7 - The first not easy day

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)

1. M at least let them do what they needed to do at the dentist.
2. I got a lot of rest today.

3. Tomorrow is going to be a great day! 

I say "not easy" because it was not quite hard. Just not easy. 

This is a picture of me laying in bed feeling a little sorry for myself. I woke up crazy early with a stomach ache. And have been operating at about 60% of my total awesomeness all day. I really hope that the stomach issue is just the intersection of too many hormones and too much stress. 

I was stressed this morning because M had a dentist appointment. She has been having anxiety about everything lately and the dentist in particular. I don't really blame her, she has terrible teeth and has had more dental work in her short life than I could have even imagined. 

She just shuts down and shakes in fear. And I think it tears up my stomach as well as my heart. We are doing all sorts of things to help her cope, she will get to the point of being able to do things without so much drama. But not today. I think it mostly tears me up because she has not always been this way. She used to be so easy breezy. She used to be the kid that was so excited to be at school that she almost never even said good-bye to me. She used to just run off into the crowd and happily start her day, not even looking back at all. She does not do that any more. She shakes and is terrified and clings to me or her dad and will not let go. It breaks my heart because I fear she will miss out on things in life. And it makes me confused because she used to be so brave. But kids change and maybe she will change back. But in the mean time it makes my stomach hurt. 

So after the dentist we watched movies. I fell asleep. And the real sign of me officially and for real not feeling well is me sleeping during the day. And I took 2 naps before 5pm today. Sort of needless to say I am skipping Roller Derby tonight. In this heat I am afraid I would barf or pass out. Neither of which are very dignified. So resting it is. And tomorrow will be better!  

Day 6 - Planning is going to be the key.

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)

1. Jazzercise was super fun today!
2. My sweet daughter gave me lots and lots of snuggles and kisses today. 
3. I am positive that my new stove will be delivered one day. 

Grapey and I are just chillin here at the Weeks household.

I learned an important lesson today. I am the glue that holds my household together. And if I fall apart, we all fall apart. I sent M to school today with a less than stellar lunch. I let her influence my decision making and I did not give her enough food and for sure not enough protein. After school today she threw herself on her bed and cried. Since she said she was fine and nothing bad happened at school, I realized it was low blood sugar. I gave her a smoothie, some hummus and crackers then suddenly she was back to her silly self like magic.

I feel her pain. I sometimes want to throw myself on my bed and cry, especially when I have spent the day hungry. Not only did I not plan M's lunch, I didn't really plan my lunch or our dinner. For lunch I had some pistachios, and fortunately I had made some hummus and cut up some veggies for emergencies so I had that too. We also had our default emergency dinner which is beans and rice. Which I supplemented with some sautéed kale. Well at least we did not end up with fast food.

I have been in a bit of a holding pattern because I am waiting on the new stove to be delivered and installed. So once that is resolved I will get my act back together.

Jazzercise this morning was super fun. It was also jam packed. My trick is to go up front. There is always more space up front and then all the people behind me can see how awesome I am. I hate to admit that I also like being in the front because there are lots of people who go to Jazzercise who have NO rhythm, they totally distract me from getting my grove on.

Since you read this all the way to the end you get a treat of the silly picture M took of me.

Hope your Monday was not too Monday-ish. Tomorrow may be challenging. so wish me luck!
- C

Day 5

Short Version (all positive since Michael nominated me for the say 3 positive things on FB thing)
1. Some friends came over to hang out this morning, which was fun! I am a very social person and spending time with friends always makes me feel good.
2. I made it through a crazy HOT Roller Derby practice. My helmet strap was dripping and my eyes still feel funny from all that sweat.
3. My husband and kiddo are being super supportive of my new healthy eating. They are not on the band wagon just yet but I think I may have converted a roller girl.

So my friend Christy came over this morning with her 6 month old baby and 3 year old girl. We had fun hanging out and catching up while M entertained the 3 year old. She is sweet with little kids. Always feels good to hang with friends.

Then I went to Roller Derby! It was a hard but great practice. I have mastered plow stops and am a rockin backwards skater. But I suck at hops and need to drop some weight so I can gain some speed. I asked a fellow member of the G team to take a pic of me and I think I look pretty darn cute. And I ma have convinced a team mate to try going vegan too.

I ordered the new range yesterday and got a call last night that they were going to deliver it between 11 & 1. The last call we got estimated 5:30 and guess what it is 6:15 and they are still not here! So who knows what will happen with that!

Since we were not sure when they were coming to get the oven and deliver the new one we got take out. I got a couple veggies sushi rolls and some sea weed salad. It was too much food, so I am saving the salad for tomorrow.

Hope you had a great Sunday, tomorrow is Monday all day so make it a good one!
- C

Day 4 - Sweat!

Short Version

By 9:30 am this morning I had finished 2 jazzercise classes

I am really really sweaty and want to take a shower but I am writing this now to get it off my list for the day.  

Tomorrow I am going to see some friends! 

Day 4 - Has been sweaty so far. I did a strength class at 7:15 and then a regular jazzercise class at 8:20. 

I have to admit I feel really good. Not only am I proud of myself for actually doing this, but I feel really good. I have more energy. My thinking is clearer. It seems so crazy. I knew I had fallen into feeling crappy, I just did not realize how easy it was going to be to stop feeling that way.  All I had to do was get up off my butt and quit eating terrible junk. 

I am not sure what is different this time, but I feel good and ready and able to do all of this. It is more work but it feels good to get it done. Life is not a burden it is a gift and I am happy to have it, so no more wasting it! 

I am off to take a shower!! 

Make good choices today! 

Chrissy

Day 3 - "Transformation"

The Short Version
Found an awesome new yoga studio!
Went out last night and got SOAKED in a cloud burst.
Going to do back to back Jazzercise classes in the morning.

DAY 3 - Transformation

This morning I tried Tough Love Yoga, and I loved it! I have been away from yoga for too long. And along with all the nutritional changes my doctor suggested, he said "go back to doing yoga, it has changed my life". Within the first 30 seconds of class Greg started talking about transformation. And I was all "whoa" and he was all "it will totally change you in so many ways". Ok so some of that conversation was in my head. But it went something like that.

Day 3

It was a tough class. I was afraid to try an hand stand and fall on my ample self in front of some very in shape peeps. But I was there and I did everything except the hand stands. Some of it I rocked at and was amazing! Some of it was tough and I need to work on. But I did have thoughts of being a chubby little caterpillar in a cocoon while I was there. What's more important is that I plan to go back. So look at their schedule let me know if you see a class you want to try & I will do all I can to go with you! But I will for sure be there next Friday at 9:30am.

Last night we went out with friends to celebrate my birthday and my friend's. We ate at Miso. Ofcourse on the way there, we hit a cloud burst and ran in heels in the rain. But once I got inside and whiped off all my smudgy mascara all was well. I had 4 bites of fish, a kale salad, some veggie sushi roles, some Proceseco and tons and tons of fun. One thing I have not been doing enough to feed my soul is hanging with my peeps! I forget that I am the type of person who NEEDS to be around other people. I do not do well in isolation. And I have spent too much time alone the past several months.

Tomorrow I am going to try doing back to back jazzercise classes, 7:15 am strength class and 8:20 regular jazzercise. I think I am up for it.

I have to say I already feel better. And feeling better was one of my main goals. I feel more awake and alive. Like a fog has lifted off of me. And maybe it has.

I hope you have a great weekend.
- Chrissy

Day 2 - Man it's hot!!

The Short Version
Today I am proud that I have amazingly supportive friends!  I walked for 25 minutes even though it is hot as hell out there!
I am not thrilled that I have to spend money on a new stove.
Tomorrow I am trying out a new yoga studio and researching stoves! 

Day 2

First I have to say THANK YOU to all my friends who are being super supportive and amazing!! You are all awesome and your helpful and encouraging comments are greatly appreciated. 

Today has been easy so far. Sears gave me a window of 8 - 12 for them to come fix my stove. They finally came at 12:30 (they called to say they were running late no biggie) only to discover that the repairs are going to cost more than the stove is worth and it is at the breaking point of just buying a new one. Such is life! I am going to roll with it. Because seriously I have an easy easy life. The only problems I have are "white people" problems, and I am white so I'm allowed to say that. Speaking of "problems" one of my biggest challenges is having too much food. Which if you really think about it is sort of ridiculous in the skeem of the world. 

Here is my day 2 picture. My 7 year old photographer helped me get a full body shot. It is a wee bit blurry but you get the general idea. 

After Sears left I finally went walking at 1pm. I do not advise exercising outdoors on a sunny day in August in GA at 1pm. Unless said exercise involves a swimming pool. There is no air in the air out there. So I got in 25 minutes. Add in the 20 minutes of walking I will do to get the kiddo and I will be up to 55 minutes in 1,000 degree heat. Ok, I exaggerate. But a few days ago there is no way I would have gone walking at all in this heat.  

Stay cool peeps! 

Chrissy 

Project ME Day One

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. We ALL know this, right? We ALL have this opportunity every single freakin day. And yet many of us just keep doing the same crap over and over, even when we claim that do not want to.

My LAST EVER before picture. 

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 37.
Which is not terribly old, but I realized I feel old. And I do not want to feel that way. I also had a physical yesterday. I have a few health problems that are annoying and if not stopped could become bad. My take away from that doctor's visit is that I need to eat better and keep exercising.

So what does eating better mean? I have been inspired by a friend (who also happens to be fixing up my house). He was vegetarian and was pretty healthy and then he went vegan and got crazy pants healthy. I want to be crazy pants healthy. I want to be that woman that is so in shape she inspires you to be in better shape.

I have decided that writing will make me think about this project. The project of improving my health and becoming the me I want to be.

Here are my goals:
- Loose 82 pounds - yes I really do need to loose that much
- cut out most processed foods - especially those with more than a few simple ingredients
- cut out meat, dairy & eggs
- reduce the inflammation in my joints and feel my age rather than feeling old
- be active everyday - this means I at least go for a walk or do something even on my "resting" days
- write about this project every day and post a picture of myself every day

I am not just going to do this, I HAVE to do this. I MUST do this. I miss the fun, happy in shape me. She felt comfortable in her own skin. She was confident and could do anything. I miss being her and am ready to take her back! The only thing stopping me is me and I am done getting in my own way.

And I really do intend that picture to be my very last ever before picture. I am not quite ready to admit how much I weigh. But I think I will be once I get some of this "fluff" off and some muscle on!

The Short Version
Today I am proud that I walked 2 miles this morning!
I am not proud that I put butter on my oatmeal, that was a poor choice.
Tomorrow will be a challenge to get some activity in. I think I will have to squeeze in a walk before I go pick up the kid even if it is 96 as predicted.

Make good choices today!
Chrissy